The Phantom Room

Electricity shooting through my twitching legs.
Hands shaking, blinking fast.
All I want is to leave this room.
A light under the door casts a glow across the dirty linoleum floor.
Blue and green boxes, shaky voices.
A spectacled watcher with watery eyes.
The pit of my stomach is hungry for air.
Even though the air is cold.
I wouldn't know.
All I see is monotony and blank stares.
There is a clocks that reads 4:32 a.m.
That can't be right.
It's light outside.
Or is it?
Flipping through pages.
Scratching my head.
Rows and rows of grey plastic.
Rows and rows of identical flesh.
The neon lights are throbbing like the vein in my forehead.
Throbbing like my aching brain.
My mind suffers, too.
Void of true emotions, my ears listen and my eyes watch as my feelings shut off and I stare at the floor.
Mindless banter about the past.
Languages and thoughts of better days.
Great big bricks with words all over.
I wish I could walk.
Run.
I wish I could bolt from this bleak, dreary Phantom Room.
This room with no shadows or real light.
A room with no view.
A room with no exit.
I see plugs and wires leading nowhere.
I see years and years plastered all over the walls.
The little red bar just keeps on moving.
Never stopping, never speeding up.
This Phantom Room scares me.
No one dares come in.
I hear noises and sounds, so distant and muffled.
But no one dares approach.
For the Phantom Room is hard to leave.
There is no easy way out.
Out.
Out.
It's not just a perspective.
It's a realistic view.
Maybe one day, it'll be a memory.
Just a fleeting thought of a mystery room.
But for now, it is real.
And I am here.
Still waiting in my Phantom Room.

technicolor trees

there was a time
where there was time.
there was a place
where i had mine.
now there's a void
your morals destroyed.
eyes all starry
the adults saying sorry.
if i open my mouth
will words come out?
footprints in the ground
strike you as you look around.
games you played
turned my heart into a hand grenade.
exploding at any second
your old self now beckons.
the dust of deception
convincing perfection.
and a life of crime
leading your climb.

laugh
bitch
ha /
ha /

slings and arrows
escape when your eyes narrow.
your thoughts tangled
my face looking mangled.
i meet you on steps
treacherous bets.


dear god/
where
is
your
coffin?

the end of the road

melt

you curse yourself a million times for thinking it.
you beat yourself to a pulp until you can't think anymore.
you watch the block of ice
as it chips away,
slowly melting.
and then you wait.
it's all gone and melted
and in the center you find

nothing

nothing but a big puddle of cold water.

the glass is neither half-empty
nor half-full.

the glass is shattered.
the water gone.
evaporated into the sky.
into the clouds.

barred windows and locked doors line the streets.
and you walk around
watching the streetlights change.
the invisible cars zooming by,
soundlessly.

when the first of the morning birds
begin to chirp,
when the sky turns
from black to purple,
and when you mind begins
to regain some sense of
reality,

that's when it hits you.

it hits you that you are alone;
your ice all chipped away.


you're now just a puddle of cold water.

the buzz is gone