nightgown

falling asleep alone
is really a peculiar thing.
sometimes,
it's like feeling an empty space
beside you.
sometimes,
it's easy to have night
-mares.
sometimes,
you can't close your eyes
until someone does it
for you.

falling asleep alone
is not something
to get used to.
it's nice to know
someone is breathing
next to you.

and once you've
known it.
there's no
turning back.
once you've
felt it.
there's no
way
you could ever
fall asleep
alone
ever again.

allow me to explain

there comes a time (multiple times) in one's life when you are forced to step back,

maybe out,

to look at your life,

yourself.

i don't know what to call these moments, 

because they're extremely hard to put into words.

i suppose it's like putting puzzle pieces together.

trying to see which ones fit,

in the hopes of creating one big

beautiful,

colorful,

shiny picture.

lately,

i've been remembering dreams 

or daydreams

or fantasies i've had.

and it's strange,

how many of them have become realities.

i can't tell if i've done it on purpose.

i can't tell if this was my doing,

and that's quite strange.

this all just feels like a déjà-vu. 

and i don't know what i'm trying to say because everything i do want to say is fighting its way out of my head all at the same time and it's very confusing, you see.

*****

peace, finally.

sitting on my sofa

in my house;

with my cat,

and my roommate

asleep on the couch.

this is my sanctuary,

my home.

*********

for now, i'll leave you with this photo i found today.

i'd never seen it before on my computer,

but i remember taking it perfectly.