i'm an insect, trying to get out of the night

sundays are never good.
maybe because it's cloudy or maybe because tomorrow is monday...
i hate waiting.
and today i feel like i'm waiting.
all day i've felt like i'm waiting.
I don't know for what but it's driving me mad.
it really is.
I can't seem to bring myself to do anything productive and i don't like it.
i'm back at square one.
but not really, cause square one was really not good.
but really, who gives a shit?
school's out in a mere four weeks.
all i ask for is a simple summer.
but i won't get any big ideas.


i'll be back later.
actually, though, because i know i sometimes make empty promises.

p.s. for some stupid reason, i can't upload photos from my ipod so i'll post a photo from home later.

sail me to the moon

crazy crazy crazy crazy .

everything is absolutely insane.

even me.

(but we already established that ages ago.)

life in a glass house

it's rare that i lack words to describe how i feel, but now is one of those moments.

i'm stressed, excited, confused, frustrated, irritated, fed up, exhausted, full of energy ... 

all these thoughts rush into my head at the same time, and i can barely organize myself enough to pick a song on my ipod or read a paragraph or hold a conversation. 

something so simple as to pouring a glass of water brings me as much anxiety as writing an exam.

yet... i feel so calm.

i feel like nothing can faze me. 

i feel like if i just keep my head above t

he water for long enough, i'll make it.

and i'll be better than just ok.

soon it'll be summer, and all my worries and cares can be defenestrated (i adore that word). 

and the mere though of waking up late to a bright blue sky, with not even a hint of the thought of "shit, i have so much to do."

because it's summer and all there is to do is get freckled by the sun and jam in the grass and explore the outskirts of town, by taking the metro to wherever you damn well please.

(i'm choosing to ignore work, if you haven't noticed, because i'm in denial.)

there there

a h h h h ! summer! 

it's so near.

freedom, people.

it's at our doorstep.

better summer than death, i say.

because i have been there done that on multiple occasions, accompanying someone who was a little too friendly with the grim reaper... 

although it wasn't their fault.

those times were hard.

and as that same time period approaches, i see how far i've come.

how much everyone has changed, and how positively identical some things stayed.

well, it's been an interesting year, to say the least.

but enough about reminiscing, there are plenty of other things to talk about.

/write about?

unfortunately, there aren't enough hours in a fucking day to say all i have in my head.

so i'll try and continue my ramblings a little later.

'till then.

sail me to the moon

weird fishes/ a r p e g g i

s t r a n d e d 

[just a simple foreword... the pictures in this post are fresh off the memory card. no photoshop. so forgive the generic-ness?]

terra firma.

well ok, i've  been on land this whole time.

i was on a boat for no more than 2 hours this week, but still.

you can only explore the wonders of tube feet and salinity for so long before longing to sleep in your nice warm bed and take a shower in something not 1 ft. x 1 ft.

i'm not saying the trip was bad.

oh no, it was pretty amazing, i must say.

you just get sick of sea critters and bunk beds after four days.

all in all, the trip was pretty damn fantastic.

the landscapes were amazing, and the research was actually really interesting.

it was nice to get away for a while.

although it was extremely draining, and the first thing i did when i got home was  s l e e p, it was a good experience.

over 600 pictures could tell you that a lot better than i can.

and fret not, dear friends, they will be coming.

slowly but surely, these pictures will slowly appear, one after the other, here there and everywhere and you will be subject to the happenings of the mystical place that is st. andrew's, new brunsick.

graveyards/weirdfishes.

***

it's truly when you least expect it that something that you don't expect happens.

(that even confuses me.)

***

"the fences that you cannot climb, the sentences that do not rhyme."

- thom yorke, analyse.

sometimes, there are certain things that cannot be explained.

and you just have to accept the unknown.

and not question everything; just let it all be.

don't analyze it all.

just observe.

take it all in.

don't try and understand.

sometimes it's impossible.

sometimes, i feel like impossible is more possible than possible.

expect the unexpected.

unlikely is likely.

improbable becomes probable.

and everything that seemed right is now wrong and vice versa.

things begin to lose their order and you start to become very confused.

and slowly but surely you get lost in questions unanswered and puzzles unsolved because you were so dead set on figuring it all out.

all that, not to mention what's too simple.

those banal things that you overanalyze because you're too scared to faces the real issues at hand.

***

more about the trip to come.

more ramblings about nothing aswell.

i've got a head full of feathers

it's been a while.

too long if you ask me.

unfortunately, it'll be even longer 'till i write again in this little white box.

i'm off to new brunswick tonight 'till sunday.

not much time to write at the moment. 

when i get back, i'll be sure to take the time to let you in on what's been going on nnnn n n.

not to mention the endless amounts of pictures i have and will have when i return.

have a lovely week.

don't get into too much trouble.

! !

[this is presently the only photo i could find on my desktop... ]

come down from the mountain, you have been gone too long