plotting.
cool hats & davidoffs.
fresh brioche & instant coffee.
stolen diet coke in a pretty little glass bottle.
snide remarks & michael jackson footwear.
so that makes today sound far more eventful than it should.
because i'm avoiding the point of EVERYTHING ELSE.
so anyhow, things are still nuts.
things are still absurd.
things are still shit (even though some things are okay).
but, i mean, i'm grounded until next monday.
i calculated (WOW) & that's the seventeenth.
and by the seventeenth, there are only two weeks of
summer left.
which means, that not only am i wasting my summer by being grounded, but the two weeks i have left when i am released, i must spend completely innocuously.
which is alright, i suppose.
but i wanted this summer to go out with a bang.
considering the entire thing has been one huge bang.
and many little bangs.
and medium sized bangs that sort of show up sporadically.
i feel really weird.
i don't quite know how to describe the feeling.
i sort of feel regret and confusion and w e i r d.
like, the past 3 weeks are starting to hit me.
hard.
and the past week is hitting me even harder.
i'm also falling fairly hard.
but that's another story entirely.
the events as of late have been completely and totally mental, and i'm not sure how to deal with it.
somehow i feel like chain-smoking on the curb & reading on the road on the windowsill is NOT the proper way.
and things just keep getting weirder n' weirder.
everything is out of control and people are growing more and more insane.
i wish i could think about something else.
i wish i wasn't trapped in my own home.
i wish i was out n' about, doing my thang.
it's saturday night for fuck's sake !
~~~
i'm frustrated beyond belief.
but there's a little voice in the back of my head telling me to remember the sunshine and the sound of the waterfalls and the chance that there's something lovely in the near future.
~~~
things that make me smile.
little snippets, snapshots of the summer that i can keep for a rainy day.
flashes of glittering eyes
the songs of lying in the grass
hugs
laughter
moments of pain cured by the love of dear friends
plucking the strings of a lost guitar
harmonies in the street
the smell of kraft dinner
and all the little teeny fractions of the moments of the good times all bundled into one.
people say they wish they could make a moment last forever.
so cheesy, yeah?
but why would you want to?
if you could make good times last forever, then they'd lose their goodness.
~~~
i have a mosquito bite on my pinky and i'm fucking tired.
i also can't write for shit right now.
so much for communication.
demain, j'ecrirais bien.
'till then,
farewell
xx
for some reason, i never uploaded the shots i did with alice for her modeling portfolio.
here's one out of like, 500.
hang your head in red
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