they turn me onto phantoms
memorandom: i didn't make the announcement, because i'm not quite ready yet.
meaning i haven't began the project.
i got the weirdest feeling on the metro today.
sitting, watching everything around me.
strangers, my friend, lights, everything moving around me.
but i felt separate from it all.
it's hard to put into words, but i just felt like this whole separate unity.
just watching.
conscious of watching.
conscious of not taking part.
i felt like i was there because i had to be, but like i had this secret that nobody knew about.
this secret like i had figured out the deeper meaning to something.
like i realized there was a reason for me being here.
but not for one in particular.
it's so hard to explain.
so difficult to articulate.
all i know is that it was one of those feelings where it seems like everything around you is moving and you're just watching it all happen, as if it were some kind of tv show and you were sitting on someone's cheap green leather leon's sofa, somewhere in some strange hicktown eating hamburger helper out of a paper plate wearing a burgundy bathrobe and just watching tv.
watching someone else's life.
someone else's tv show.
reading their script and listening to their soundtrack.
watching their credits and seeing their acting.
their costars and supporting cast.
hearing their studio audience laugh and clap at all the right moments.
watching someone else's television set.
beyond your own mind.
that's how i felt today.
i want you to get out and make it work
you already know how this will end
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