so a couple of weeks ago, we had to pick a painting for an art project. i picked this caspar david friedrich painting. its so beautiful, i just wanted to share it.
still reading haunted, by the way. and let me just say that the faces i've made while reading the book invoke quite a sentiment of complete and utter disgust and fear.
this blog is a work of fiction. names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
so last night i saw a movie. an amazing movie. a movie that i could probably watch again and again. it was called trainspotting.
i think it was the mix of music, drugs, and scottish accents that really got me. it's a little heavy, but i like those strange, dramatic movies with crazy camera angles and people running with a catchy new order song playing.
i thought it would be a little cliche, but it really wasn't. there was something almost kubric-esque about it. but not really.
also, i've just bought a book called haunted by chuck palahniuk. it's really strange. not surprising, coming from him. you can read one of the bizarre gruesome short stories from the book here:
although, i warn you, it's not for the faint of heart. if you decide to read one of chuck's infamously weird books, i suggest invisible monsters.
since we're in such a weird dark mood, i'll give you a weird dark picture...
reckoner, can't take it with yer
...ok, so it's not that weird and not that dark, but i like it.
today has been so unbelievably un-fucking-productive. i don't care much, because march break is in a week.
t h a n k y o u, lord.
so, nobody ever leaves comments, but i really want opinions on something... should i get the cartilage in my ear pierced or should i get a tattoo, or both?
i feel unaccomplished, skeptical, musical, and lonely at the moment.
worried about a dear friend of mine. or two.
why do i always feel the need to save people? to reach out my hand and pull them up out of the dark well, when i'm stuck in my own well of sorts.
ahh, i can't write right now. i'm too confused. once again, i feel like my brains have spilled out all over the place like egg yolks and i can't really focus or think about one thing too long. i think i need a slap in the face. i need a reality check. i need someone to say, "luna, snap the fuck out of it." i need someone to make me a nice cup of tea and take me out somewhere distracting and noisy. i need a nap. or a break. or a shot of vodka.
went to a party last night. a fabulously typical high school party; puking and hooking up in a closet included.
the house party was a blast. lingering around the front steps in heels far too high and leaving everyone with red lip prints on their cheeks was quite great.
i arrived late only to find everyone completely intoxicated. as a sober person watching drunk people, it's so positively amusing.
showered with drunken compliments and awkward stumbling hugs, i felt more at home than i ever did in a place where blackberries and ugg boots are a given and where "sherbs" is the place to see and be seen.
and although my dearest friend astrid was nowhere in sight (unless you were on a plane to cuba), i had a wonderful night.
when i came home, i couldn't sleep, despite my extreme fatigue and throbbing pain in my feet. so i thought. pondered. meditated, if you will. it's been a while since i've successfully been able to gather my thoughts before dozing off without dreaming of gory monsters and the death of my loved ones.
and today... well, today i did absolutely nothing. and it was absolutely fantastic. it didn't feel like a wasted day. at the risk of sounding like a suburban soccer mom with a french mani, it felt like a well-deserved day dedicated to being inside my own head.
jumped in the water what did i see? black-eyed angels swam with me.
it's thursday and i can't focus on what i should be doing, which is the monstrosity called science fair(don't worry, it's mandatory).
i'll most probably be going to dominican republic over march break, although i highly doubt it'll happen. it would be rather nice to go on holiday.
no more nightmares (yay), but i've been having strange dreams. in this weird club with people who are in this weird, half-dead daze (no, they're not drunk and high), and they're all people i know. random people from my past. i don't know why i'm there, but i end up in an igloo in someone's backyard, sleeping in the snow. when i wake up, the first thing i do is put on sunglasses. then i'm in westmount square, running to the dep so i can buy bubblegum and it's my grade 8 math teacher at the counter asking me where my dog is. then i'm back in the snow, not quite asleep, not quite awake. then i'm in a motel room, sleeping in a bed with 3 other people. nothing sexual, just sleeping. then i'm in the snow, again. and then i wake up to the buzzing of my phone on my nighttable.
nothing too scary, i guess. just absurd beyond belief.
procrastinating. as usual. plotting. (as usual.) thinking.
anyhow, it was so incredibly sunny today. so sunny, and so uneventful.
it's ok. i'd rather it be uneventful than be full of crazy mishaps. er, well, ,no. because this summer was a little bit of both.
which brings me to my next point, i found some memories of the summer laying around my computer. strange, strange memories.
one is of the radiohead concert. which was quite surreal. torrential rain, lots of mud, cartoon-laden rain ponchos, diet coke, almond butter sandwiches, sound checks, fireworks, crying, screaming, singing along, wellies, waiting in line, a green plastic bag, an ugly red raincoat, a nearly dead best friend, lots of drugs and beer (not mine, but the crowds'), crowd-surfing to videotape, bright lights, guitar solos, thom yorke's beautiful face, jonny greenwood's shiny hair, a karma police singalong initiated by none other than myself and astrid, and lots of emotions, just to name a few of the memories i retain from that night.
now that you've found it, it's gone.
so now i'm here, in front of my computer, the weather chilly, the sidewalks icy, and things inside my head pretty different. it's not that i've gotten crazier, it's that i'm crazy in a different way. it's hard to for me to even understand, let alone explain it. it's just hard to go to school sometimes. and do my work. and go to parties. and be a teenager. without thinking too much about it. it's even hard to string five words together to make a sentence without fumbling about or getting frustrated.
anyway, i must dash.
i leave you with the memories of my memories of summer 2008.
no more going to the dark side, with your flying saucer eyes.
by the way, there are 17 songs on this playlist... the stupid scroller thing doesn't work, so you have to keep clicking on the lower songs to get to the bottom of it.
enjoy.
i'm going downtown today, when really, i should be studying. story of my life.
it's gorgeous out. well, except for the excruciating cold that freezes your nostrils together and turns your tears into icicles (not as emo as it sounds; my eyes tear when it's cold).
no x42i don’t know why you bothernothing's ever good enough for you.(by the way) i was there and it wasn't like that. you’ve come here just to start a fightyou had to piss on our parade you had to shred our big day you had to ruin it for all concernedin a drunken punch-up at a weddingyeah hypocrite opportunist don't infect me with your poisona bully in a china shop when i turn ‘round you stay frozen to the spotyou had the pointless snide remarksof hammerheaded sharks the pot will call the kettle blackit’s a drunken punch-up at a wedding yeah oh no no
i know the title is a tad self-loathing, but i suppose it's true.
so anyway, i got a couple of my term marks today, an
d usually i'm not one to care that much or to get terrible marks (i've always pulled 80's, about), yet it's pretty bad.
i'm not going to write them here, but i will say that they are below 50% in science.
oof.
w e l l.
welly welly well.
my brain feels like scrambled eggs. i feel like everything got all jumbled up, thrown in a blender, someone drank some of it so some stuff is missing, and got injected back into my brain, only backwards.
it's kind of shitty.
it's also kind of shitty that i really wish my ipod wasn't b r o oo o ooo o o oo k e n.
"please excuse me, but i got to ask... are you only being nice because you want something?"
he's just a bloody genius, isn't he?
he's so intense, i wouldn't have the faintest of what to say to him if i met him.
p.s. mstrkrft coming to metropolis april 11th and tokyo police club on march 27th.
so my shrink, let's just call her dr. x, wrote me a note today.
well, she didn't write the note to me.
she wrote the note to whom it may concern.
anyhow, she wrote me this note, without me asking.
about how i should be excused, because i've been going through a hard time and that i have a type of depression that affects my academic performance, my mood, and my concentration.
or something like that.
so i'm debating on whether to use my power for good or for evil.
that's a fat lie.
i'm going to use my power for good.
in fact, i don't want to use my power at all.
i feel so guilty about it.
because i don't want to have an advantage over the other kids or take advantage of the teachers or anything.
that's so wrong.
and plus, i don't want to seem like some kind of fucking basket case who can't get their shit together enough to do their homework.
well, not exactly.
i just don't want to seem like i'm using it as a crutch to not have to do my work.
today was one of those days where you kinda think that maybe if you hear someone talk about another disney channel star or twilight one more time, you just might confine yourself to a grotto somewhere in the mountains living off of berries, your own willpower, and the sweet, sweet voice of thom yorke. keeping your sanity by counting the days and playing rock, paper, scissors with your shadow.
you know what i mean?
i suppose we are the target demographic for these kinds of things, but i still can't fathom why anyone would like that sort of thing.
today was one of those days where you kind of think you might pull out a lighter from your schoolbag and light your desk on fire, using your homework and your white-out as an accelerant, because you're so fucking I R R I T A T E D & A N X I O U S.
the only (HA) reason i felt like this was because that ridiculously long, anxiety-inducing, terrifyingly official-looking paper that poses the question that's not quite easy to answer...
SCIENCE PATHWAY
and
ANY OTHER PATHWAY
ironically, this paper is due friday the 13th; how amusing.
so anyway, it's only hard to decide because you need over 80% in math 436... which i'm not going to pass, let alone get 95 in. well, the thing is, i don't really even want to go into science. i want to go into fine arts, but honestly, where the bloody hell is that going to get me? N O W H E R E .
so i decided no science; electives --> visual arts 5 and north american lit. oh, and sound engineering (it was between that and flash animation).
people need to stop being such assholes about it and stop stressing us out. thank yo o uu u u uuuu.
so my mom made supper and it was just the most retro thing i have ever seen: meatloaf, soggy baked french fries, brussels sprouts, and fresca. it was so 1950's that i just had to take a picture.
(my friend astrid hall who you will find out more about someday)
i know its a bit late, but i wanted to write about it. last weekend i went to igloofest, which was quite fun. aside from the fact that my feet were SOAKED and i had quite the throbbing headache the next morning. the music was very cool (as was the weather). i somehow managed to lose my friends and had to walk back home alone, but let me tell you, i had never been happier to be indoors than at that moment. it was fun, although not nearly as fun as it would have been had it been warm.
p.s. did anyone watch the grammys? radiohead on the grammys? thoughts?
i've been wanting to make a blog for a while i had one, but i deleted it because it was too tedious and i got frustrated because i couldn't update it. but then again, what doesn't frustrate me? anyways, this is where i'll post things : pictures, music, videos, ramblings, clothes, etc. whatever i fancy. you may comment if you want. or not. you can read it. or not.
